# Talking to yourself out loud > Talking to yourself out loud is a familiar habit, and many people do it when something is bothering them or when they are working something out. Used on purpose for a few minutes, it can be a way to hear a tangled thought plainly, ask yourself a better question and end on something you know. Source: https://joinleeway.app/methods/talking-to-yourself-out-loud/ · Methods · by the Leeway team · updated 2026-10-17 You are folding laundry and mutter a sentence you have been holding all day. Or you say what you should have said, to the empty kitchen, in a slightly different voice. Then you wonder if that is a normal thing to do. People do ask. This page gives an honest answer to what we know and do not know, and then shows how to turn the habit into something deliberate: a few minutes, a plain question, and a way to finish. You do not need anyone to listen, and you do not need an app. ## How to talk to yourself on purpose 1. **Find a private moment** The car, the kitchen, the shower or a walk with headphones in. Pick a place where you will not feel watched, because feeling watched shrinks what you say. 2. **Ask yourself one plain question** Use your own words, such as what is actually bothering me. A single question beats a general wander, and it gives you somewhere to start when your head is full. 3. **Try your own name or you, once** Say the same thing as if you were talking to a friend in your position: Alex, what is going on. Keep it if it loosens things, drop it if it feels silly. Either is fine. 4. **Say it plainly and do not fix it yet** Let the sentences be unfinished and a little messy. If you stop and sigh, that is part of it. Fixing can wait until the thought has been said in full. 5. **Finish with what you know** Close with one or two sentences about where you ended up, even if it is only that you miss someone or that you are tired. Then stop. Five minutes is plenty. ## Things to say to yourself - Okay, say it out loud. What is actually bothering me? - What I keep replaying is… - What I would tell a friend in this spot is… - The part that is true is… - So here is where I am right now… ## An example evening (written by the Leeway team; what Leeway is designed to show) Question: What is on your mind tonight? > Okay, Leila. Say it out loud. What is actually bugging you? > Priya said I'm always busy now. At her birthday brunch, in front of everyone. > And I was. I skipped her dinner twice. So it's not even wrong. > That's the part that stings. > But she said it kind of laughing. Maybe I'm hearing more than she meant. > I miss her, honestly. It's been since March. > I think better when I'm walking. I'll go for a walk tomorrow after work. Title: Stung, then softer. Emotional reserve 58 (Some room). Mental load 38 (Light). Map: Down, 55 s, what she said; Content, 25 s, missing her. **Priya's comment** - Being called always busy stung, and part of it felt true - She may have said it more lightly than it landed **Missing her** - By the end you were talking about missing her, not about the comment - You said you think better when you walk Small step: Take a fifteen-minute walk after work, you said you think better when you are walking. (15 min, Tomorrow) ## Why it can help We could not find a reliable figure for how many people talk to themselves out loud, so we do not give one. What we can point to is work on inner speech, the silent version. A 2015 review in Psychological Bulletin describes it as something that appears to serve real functions in human thinking, and as varying a great deal from person to person. That supports seeing self-talk as an ordinary part of how many people think, not proof that every form of it does a particular job. On the question of how you do it, a 2014 paper reported seven studies in which people reflected on a stressful situation, such as a speech or a first impression, using either first-person words or their own name and non-first-person words. Those who used their own name or you showed less distress and were rated as doing better. The tasks were short and set in a lab, and the paper looked at the wording of the self-talk, not at speaking aloud versus silently. It is a reason to try a small change of wording, not a promise. ## When it does not work, and what to try - You start repeating the same sentence: ask a different question, or stop and come back tomorrow - The voice turns harsh: switch to what you would say to a friend in the same spot - You feel self-conscious: go somewhere you cannot be overheard, or say it quietly - It feels forced: write the same question on paper, or speak it into a voice memo ## When a method is not enough Talking yourself through a hard evening is an everyday thing. If you hear voices that feel like they come from someone else, if your thoughts feel out of your control, if low or anxious feelings last for weeks, or if you have thoughts of harming yourself, talk to a doctor or a licensed mental health professional. ## Questions ### Is it normal to talk to yourself? It is common enough that most people recognize it: muttering through a list, rehearsing a conversation, saying a feeling aloud when you are alone. We could not find a figure we trust, so we will not give a number. It is usually just a way of thinking. ### Does it help to use my own name? It can, for some people. In one set of lab studies, people who reflected on a stressful moment using their own name or you showed less distress than those who used I. Try it once and keep it only if it feels natural. ### Is talking out loud different from thinking in my head? Many people find that saying it makes a thought slower and more concrete, so gaps and repeats are easier to hear. We could not verify research that compares the two, so take this as something to try, not a rule. ### When should I be concerned about talking to myself? Talking to yourself is not a concern in itself. It is worth speaking with a doctor if the voices feel like someone else, if you cannot stop, or if it comes with distress that lasts. A licensed mental health professional can help. ## Sources - [Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: How you do it matters (Kross et al., 2014, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology)](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24467424/), PubMed, US National Library of Medicine - [Inner speech: Development, cognitive functions, phenomenology, and neurobiology (Alderson-Day and Fernyhough, 2015, Psychological Bulletin)](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4538954/), PubMed Central, US National Library of Medicine --- Leeway is a new AI voice journal for iPhone, opening soon: you answer one evening question out loud for a couple of minutes, it names what you felt, shows your emotional reserve and your mental load, and keeps one small step for tomorrow. Waitlist: https://joinleeway.app/. Leeway is not a substitute for professional care. In the US, call or text 988 if you are going through a hard time, or 911 in an emergency.